Did you ever feel fragmented or compartmentalized, like you had to pick and choose which parts of you to be shown to the world? If so, don’t despair.
That’s the normal state of human affairs.
We so much want to be accepted or gain some benefit (e.g., profit) from our relations with others that many of our encounters break down into one of two categories:
- we try to show them what they want to see, or
- we try to entice them to give us what we want.
Either way, rarely do we let our hair down and show ourselves in our entirety, warts and all.
However, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye. And picking one aspect to emphasize over another may be good for your outer affairs, but it sure isn’t good for your inner ones.
It creates a schism within the self, setting off an inner conflict within us, setting off a dialogue of uncertainty about who we really are.
“Which face will I show now? What if I show the wrong one? Will they still like me/buy from me?”
Spiritual awakening is simply becoming aware that the experiences of life contribute in some way to our personal evolution, a process that is best described as a quest to be whole.
Wholeness in terms of the self is true knowing of all our aspects, and then dissolving those artificial barriers we use to persuade ourselves that we are this or that, when in fact we are all of those things we know and more.
It is the dissolving of illusion about who we are, from our very highest aspects down to our basest. Accepting them and allowing them to be, inviting them to step into the light of consciousness to be seen, examined and choose for themselves the role they will continue to play in our experiential journey through life.
But this isn’t how we interact with others. No, we’re afraid to let them see the beast within that gets angry, wants for itself, and puts up protective barriers to insure it doesn’t get out at inappropriate times. But it gets out anyway, and when it does, wreaks havoc on all around us.
We similarly lock away the inner child, denying us fun simply for fun’s sake, thinking that getting lost in the moment denies us the chance to be “adults” and take our rightful place in society. That child is always waiting to escape, and like any kid who is ignored, acts out in ways to get attention.
There are a whole lot more faces we hide away as well. And many others that we prop up so others will want to do business with us, love us, or perhaps leave us alone.
The challenge of awakening is not to play conductor of our lives, picking and choosing what we’ll show in our efforts to get by.
Instead, it is to allow ourselves to be what we are as we need to be in any moment. That part of us will come forward naturally if we let it. At first it may seem a little raw or risky, but that’s okay. We’ve got to learn to deal even those difficult parts of our personalities, to love them and accept them, and invite them to add what we brought them into this world to give us.
This doesn’t mean to act like a bull in a china shop, or go around insulting people or crying at the drop of a hat. But if there is that part of you that wants to come out, there’s a reason. Something in your reality has triggered the need for its escape. So let it out now and deal with it. Heal it. And start your journey to become whole.
Wholeness is the name of the game in life. Not just wholeness in us, but wholeness in our world. Where everyone begins to see each other as a valuable piece in a great mosaic of consciousness that needs to be honored and expressed.
But that’s another story for another day. In the meantime, go with love for all aspects of you, warts and all.
Trust me. It won’t be as bad as you think.